Carol Stollwerk Memorial

My mother was born on December 24, 1941 as Carol Star Sherer, to Harry Sherer and Pearl Kalish.

She attended Yeshiva of Flatbush and then went on to Fashion Institute of Technology. After graduating FIT, Carol became a buyer at Macy’s Department store. While she was working at Macy’s, she met my father, Murray Stollwerk.

They got married April 10, 1965.

They had me, Fredda, January 23, 1967.

My brother, Scott, December 22, 1969.

And my sister, Gillian, February 24, 1974.

To date, my parents are grandparents and great grandparents, Thank G-d. They were a great team.

She is sorely missed every day.

Murray’s Memories

My beloved wife, Carol was more than a wife, she was my partner, my confidant, my right arm. She guided me in many of life’s important decisions.

She was a loving mother and grandmother, not only to her children but to her children’s friends, always there to lend an ear and a word of advice or encouragement.

She put everyone before herself.  Her love was unending and remains so as long as her children, 12 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren live on to rejoice in her memory.   

                                                                                                  Murray Stollwerk

Fredda/Faigy’s Memories

The first thing that comes to mind when I think if my mother is her smile; her infectious, warm, loving smile that makes you feel wrapped up in a strong embrace.

My mother was self-less. She lived and breathed for her family. She only wanted the best for us.

She was a cheerleader. She was tough love. She was a friend, a mentor, a role model.

I didn’t appreciate her enough. Ever. Yet, there were those moments when I would meet other people who didn’t have what I had for a mother and it made me pause and realize what I truly had.

What we truly lost.

Nothing was ever about her. She loved us unconditionally. It makes me so grateful for the gift of her love, and sad that so many others have never felt something so safe.

Her love has made me a better mother. Her encouragement has built my confidence. Her tough love has made me appreciative of the growth she facilitated by making me work for things and outcomes. My inner strength is a direct result of all of her love.

At my mothers shiva, a friend of mine said to me, “Your mother was so much. You lost so much.” She has no idea…

Fredda has seven children; Yitzchok Meir, Tova (married to Brian), Rivky (married to Daniel), Nachman, Basya, Rochel Leah (married to Bensy) and Chani.

and seven grandchildren (in age order); Sarah Adina Magid named in memory of my mother (Carol’s Hebrew name was Chaya Sarah), Ayala Shifra Magid, Basya Leah Magid, Nochum Yehuda Rosenthal, Reuven Yaakov Magid, Caleb Michael Grecksch, and Shoshana Chaya Rosenthal named in memory of my mother.

Daniel and Rivky Magid

Basya (L), Yaakov (R)

(L-R) Adina, Ayala, Basya, Yaakov

Scott’s Memories

All of us miss Mom every day. But evidently, even 10 years is too soon for me.  It seems that every word I test for this beautiful memorial is defective! So damn insufficient that if Carol were here she’d be arguing on my behalf with someone, somewhere, demanding that I receive better.

Then as I reread this sentence, I remember her words.   

“You can do it.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“I love you.”

“Better out than in.”

I am truly grateful for you, Faiga and Gilly. You inherited all of Mom’s beauty, wonderful personality traits and generous, forgiving spirit.

Whatever it is, you can do it.  And I love you.

Scott married Alyssa on May 20, 2001. They have two beautiful girls, Emma Paige and Lila Isabel.

Alyssa’s Memories

Mom,
You were the best mother in law I would ever have asked for. I miss your love, support and guidance. I think of you all the time and pray you are happy wherever you are.

Thank you for being a wonderful Bubbie and thank you so much for loving our girls so much.

I wish you were here. I hope you hear my prayers.

Love you, Alyssa

Gillian’s Memories

Hey Mommy
It’s me, your Gigs.

Sorry that I only talk to you in my car these days…
It’s LIFE- it gets so busy and you know everything gets crazed.

I’m driving to visit your grave now, which still today sounds surreal? HOW? 
Where are you?  I mean reeeeeally, where ARE you..in this very moment right NOW?!

I don’t believe you actually ‘live’ there and I routinely tell the kids when they inquire,
‘She lives in our hearts,’ and I tell MYSELF you’re ‘in my back pocket,’ when grief lights its fire.

But, today my pants are pocketless and my heart needs to breathe you in extra deep.
So, after I visit your resting place, I PROMISE to replay the precious memories we keep.

When you passed so young, I was SUCH a mess.  I fell to my knees, pregnant, shocked and quite difficult company, I confess.

Yet, my precious Mommy,  I’ve also grown so much from that time of barely surviving. 
I’ve lived so much and learned from your death, is it crazy to say, in your memory I’m thriving?

Pardon the amateur poetry here – it’s just a rhyme flowing from my heart. The best thing you gave me was loving everything about me, right from the start. 

That’s why I’m not afraid to share.  All that love you gave me, makes me everything I AM.  
I miss your face, I miss your love but grateful I see you/FEEL you in the girls and Cam! 

Let’s have a date shall we? Not just in the car when there aren’t kids making noise, or when I am ‘supposed to’ visit this site.
You visit me in my dreams and instead of rushing through my morning, won’t you please stay and continue to shed light? 

Today was productive then… I just ‘called’ my best friend (wherever she may be), at the grave, in my heart, in my pocket…really, I think it’s up to me. ❤️

I love you!

Mommy was everything I strive to be. She was the most loving and accepting person, and I truly felt that she would love me no matter what choices I made.

She let us all figure out our lives and supported us with pure love through each life experience. When I am making decisions, big and small, she pops into my head. Would Mom think this is wise? What would Mom say? What would she do? Etc.

She lives on in my life in SO many ways and I only can hope and pray I do half the job she did raising me with my kids. I ache for her voice and her hugs and the love she so easily and beautifully provided us. I’m so happy that we have this memorial that she so deserves.

Mommy, you are forever in our hearts. You made us all who we are. We love you! 

Gilly married Steve on August 19, 2001. They have three beautiful children, Ellyana Fae, Eden Pearl and Cameron Shane.

Steve’s Memories

Bubbie was my second mom.

The moment I met her she gave me a big hug and that beautiful smile, as if to say “Where have you been? We have been waiting for you!”

She was never the loudest in the room, or wanted a lot of attention, but her presence was always felt, and she always made you feel loved and special.

I don’t know what else to say other than I am crying writing this, missing her voice and that beautiful smile. xoxoxo

Yitzchok Meir’s Memories

What I miss most about Bubby is that she put everyone first, before herself, especially her family. I miss her very much and would do anything to have her back.

I love her. I know she loved me, even if she didn’t say it (she did!), but you could always feel her love.

Tovie and Rivky’s Memories

I remember that every time Bubby came to visit, we asked her to paint our nails the same red that she always wore because we adored her and wanted to be just like her.

I remember that Bubby and Zaidy would bring cookies from Classy Cakes EVERY time they came to visit! And always with presents! I remember that they specifically went to that bakery because they were a tiny store and didn’t get much business.

Bubby use to read to us. I remember her reading the book “Messes of Dresses” to us.

We also remember the time that she kept a secret from Zaidy about his 70th birthday party!

Bubby used to take us food shopping to get us out of the house for Mommy 🙂

“I felt so loved by her. She truly loved us for who we were. She was always so warm and had a smile on her face.

I remember her laugh! It would light up the room. Bubby truly made each of us feel like we were the only person there with her.”

-Rivky

“Being with Bubby was the safest place in the world. I always felt safe and loved when she was around.”

-Tovie

Nachman’s Memories

I was young when my Bubby passed away, so I don’t remember a lot about her. But I do remember feeling loved by her. It’s a small thing now, but as a child I remember her asking me what I wanted for my birthday. I was very into Spiderman at that time, so I said, “Anything with Spiderman on it.” On my birthday she gave me a Spiderman skateboard! I felt like the luckiest person in the world! That’s how my grandmother made everyone feel.

Bassy’s Memories

As an 8 year old losing someone so special and dear to your heart it hurts in every way. I remember playing outside when my dad called me and my sister inside with the news that our dear Bubby was gone.

I was so confused and lost and even though I was little and don’t have many memories of growing up with you, I do have one memory of sitting in your lap with your arms around me and I was playing with the long locket you never took off.

Even though you’re gone I know you’re watching and smiling down on us, all of us.

I’m sorry you didn’t get to witness all of us grow up to be the people we are today, but you were with us every step of the way because a person as special and as kind and loving as you never leaves ones heart.

I know you walked with us through every step of the way and will continue being there for us. Your memory will live on in every heart you made an impact on and I can believe that that number is countless. I love you.

Rochel Leah’s Memories

When a child loses a loved one at such a young age, they may not have many memories of the person, but they remember how they felt when they were with the person.

I have very vague memories of Bubby. She left us when I was only six years old.

Although I may not remember specific encounters with her, I’ll never forget how I felt when I was with her. Safe. Loved. Comforted. She always had a smile that lit up the room. And I don’t mean to sound cliche, but it was a contagious smile. When Bubby smiled, you smiled back.

When I sat on her lap, I felt as if nothing in the world could go wrong.

I remember how she would always be laughing with Zaidy. It didn’t matter that they were married for forty+ years; they always laughed and loved like they were twenty.

Chani’s Memories

Bubby, I was only 4 when you passed away, but at least I got to spend a little bit of my life in your arms and feeling your love and warm embrace. I wish you were able to hear this. I wish you could could come down from heaven for even just a couple seconds so I could have that feeling I had so long ago. I have this vague memory of you picking me up in our front hallway.

When I think of Bubby, I think of a beautiful smile, a good friend and a loving person to all. I hope you’re looking down from your special place in heaven and smiling at your children and grandchildren. I promise that we will always tell our kids about our Bubby and even if I don’t remember much about you I will make sure that Mommy or my older siblings will.

So Bubby, even though I don’t really have much recollection of you, I want you to know that you will always have a separate place in my heart and your presence will go on for generations to come.

With love, your granddaughter Chani ❤

Elly’s Memories

Bubbie, even though you were only a part of my life for less than 6 years, you were the greatest grandma a little girl could ask for and I miss you and love you so much.

I wish you were still here so I can see you and hug you. I love you Bubbie!

Eden’s Memories

Bubbie was so sweet and loving. I wish I had more time with her instead of just 3 years. I love hearing stories mom tells about how much of an awesome grandma she was.

Emma’s Memories

Bubbie, I miss you and remember playing with your long gold necklace, and sitting on your knees while you played “round and round and round she goes…” I love you and thank you for taking such good care of me when I was a baby.

Lila’s Memories

Hi Bubbie. I remember playing with your long gold necklace. I love you and miss you and wish you were here.